Butter Nut Squash…
Is the grossest name for a food I can think of. It sounds like someone slathered butter all over a dude’s nuts then squashed them. Nasty right? When someone offers me Butter Nut Squash I hear them saying, “Would you like me to pour melted butter down your pants then squeeze your junk in my hands?” The answer is no.
The second grosses food name? Queef Cheese.
Good Luck Soup!
I have a great idea for some “Good Luck” soup. It’s a soup made entirely out of rabbit’s feet!
How can that not make great things happen for me?! And I could use it. I had to check “divorced” on some paper work today. Makes me really sad. Why me, ya know?
Well, I’m off to a local black market butcher to buy 4 rabbits to cut off their feet! Mmmm…good luck here I come!
I’m sick of people putting BACON in EVERYTHING! I LOVE bacon just as much as the next guy. In fact, my doctor told me if I don’t stop loving bacon so much my heart will explode. So, I’ve decided to pick a new food to over-indulge in. Of course I want to be fair about what food I pick to go ridiculously crazy for, like people do for bacon, so I randomly opened up a cookbook and chose the first food I saw.
So, my new “bacon” is…….CONDENSED TOMATO SOUP!”
I’m gonna eat Condensed Tomato Soup in every meal, drizzle it on everything I eat and have all my foods soaked in Condensed Tomato Soup! I’ll eat only Condensed Tomato Soup sandwiches and have Condensed Tomato Soup infused hamburgers and drink it with every meal!
Move over BACON, the new cool food is CONDENSED TOMATO SOUP!
Liquid diet
Well…my DIY deep fryer did not work out well. I burned myself pretty badly. But there is a silver lining! Now I can get reacquainted with some delicious, soft foods like apple sauces and various pastes I always pass up. By the way, I had no idea you could burn your gums. But you can, a lot. And boy did I! The doctor said the blackness would go away. My dentist said it wouldn’t. So, I’m rooting for my doctor!
Anyway, one of my new favorite foods is beef stock! Right out of the can, heated up. I never thought of it as a meal, but since if I eat anything I need to use my teeth for it feels like I’m being punched with a brick, beef stock isn’t bad!
If you have any delicious ideas for foods that are as soft as water (or even softer would be great!) Let me know. I’m running out of ideas and I’m starving!
A hair more soup?!
Ahhh!!! HAHAHAHA!!! So this morning, I was bending down while making some Sandra Bullock’s “Two Week’s Notice” Leek Soup (see below) and apparently my ponytail dipped into the pot! I didn’t even noticed until I felt something wet running down the back of my neck. And even then I thought it was just sweat, like usual. So, I served the soup and one of the guys at the shelter was like “Hey, what the %$@# is this rubber band doing in my bowl?” I looked at it and said, “That’s not a rubber band, that’s my hair tie!” HAHA. That wetness was my pony tail soaked in Leek soup!
Hilarious! Life can be a real fun time if you let it. Please forward or reblog to brighten someone’s day! :) :) :)
SOUP!!!
It’s fall! Which means it’s time for soup. Hot soup in sourdough breadbowls. Mmm…makes me wants to slurp just thinking about it. Here’s how it works: Picture me in the couch wrapped in my Snuggie, watching 28 Days eating soup!!
By the way, that’s 28 Days starring Sandra Bullock, a can-do story about an alcoholic who learns to not be an alcoholic through friends and joy, NOT that scary zombie people murder movie, 28 Days Later. That’s certainly not a soup movie. You don’t want to be slurping when there are guts on the TV, things get too real. 28 Days Later is more of a popcorn mixed with Whoppers. But it is CERTAINLY not a Soup Movie like 28 Days.
Here are some other good Soup Movies: Miss Congeniality, Hope Floats, Two if by Sea, Forces of Nature Practical Habit, The Proposal, Two Weeks Notice, Demolition Man, The Net and Speed 2: Cruise Control. While You Were Sleeping, A Time to Kill, Gun Shy, Speed, Miss Congeniality 2. Also, Love Potion Number 9, The Vanishing, Crash, Murder by Numbers, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Lover Boy, The Lake House, Infamous, Premonition, All About Steve and the Blind Side, And In Love and War, I think. Pretty much all of Sandra Bullock’s movies are good Soup Movies. But which soup for which movie?? Ask and you shall receive!
Miss Congeniality: Italian Wedding
Hope Floats: Tomato
Two if by Sea: Clam Bisque
Forces of Nature: Potato
Practical Habit: Chicken Noodle
The Proposal: Borscht
Two Weeks Notice: Leek
Demolition Man: Ox Tail
The Net: Minestrone
Speed 2: Cruise Control: Spit Pea
While You Were Sleeping: Mushroom Barley
A Time to Kill: Ramen
Gun Shy: Also, Italian Wedding
Speed: Pumpkin
Miss Congeniality 2: Gazpacho
Love Potion Number 9: French Onion! (duh)
The Vanishing: Corn Chowder
Crash: Manhattan Clam Chowder
Murder by Numbers: Birds Nest (Caution, only legal in China. But it’s worth the trip, what a great movie!)
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: Miso
Lover Boy: Black Bean
The Lake House: Bouillabaise
Infamous: Tortilla
Premonition: Vegetable
All About Steve: Cioppino
The Blind Side: Beer and Cheese
In Love and War (I think): Vichyssoise (I think)
Found a particular soup that works for a different movie? I’d love to hear you state your case. But be careful, I’ve been working on this list for almost eight years now. I’ve been through a LOT of trial and error and I know my stuff when it comes to Soup Movies!
Have a great fall everybody!!!
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